Be My Husband
by NCISVILLE
Summary: Emergency! Clara Oswald needs a last minute husband and who better to play the role than her alien best friend who she may or may not have the biggest crush on. What could go wrong when alcohol is thrown into the mix.


**Be My Husband**

"Emergency." Clara said while running around her room.

"What is it this time?" The Doctor grumbled inside the TARDIS. "Did you tell your family you had another boyfriend?" He asked with a scoff remembering the last time she'd asked him to be her emergency boyfriend.

"No. Slightly bigger lie." She nervously said, her voice just a bit higher than usual. The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his eyes shut dreading the next words to come from her mouth.

"Well there's this co-worker of mine and she's always been a huge bi-"

"Language." He interrupted.

"A huge twat and she started to get under my nerves and was mocking me and she made the comment that everyone was going to be going to the pub tonight for the teacher appreciation night with a boyfriend or husband except me and she then had the nerve to say that I wasn't getting any younger and time was not on my side if I was wanting to have kids and I just…I got so mad and so I told her I wasn't going alone and that I was bringing my husband."

The Doctor's eyes went wide and he groaned. "Clara Oswin Oswald. Why can't you ever just let things go and be the bigger person. Just because you're short doesn't mean you can't be."

"Oi! Are you looking for a smack on the back of your head?"

"Don't threaten me. You're the one asking me to be your pretend husband. Which, by the way is a much harder story to sell. Why couldn't you have said boyfriend or fiancé or that we'd been on a couple dates?" He groaned again.

"Because everyone knows she wants to marry her boyfriend but he still hasn't proposed and she's bitter about it so I wanted to rub it in her face. Can you please just do this for me? This woman has been rotten to me since I first came to Coal Hill. She makes my life miserable at school."

The Doctor sighed and pinched his nose again. He remained silent trying to think about it without rushing in like he wanted to.

"Please Doctor. I need you." Her tone was softer and pleading and even though he was millions of miles and a few years away from her he could see those big brown eyes inflating, pleading with him to help her. That's when he broke.

"Fine. I'll do it. But you owe me."

"Oh yes! Thank you thank you thank you! Anything you want, I'll do it." She said happily.

"I'll hold you to that Clara Oswald."

She was beaming a smile into the phone as she applied her make up. "Come by in a half hour dressed in a proper suit without the magicians' coat. Oh! And pick up some wedding rings please." He grumbled a reply before hanging up.

For a moment Clara felt her heart flutter and her stomach begin to do flips and wondered why she suddenly felt like a school girl who'd just asked her crush to the Prom. Was it because the Doctor had agreed to marry her?

Once more her heart fluttered and her stomach jumped and Clara swallowed hard. She tried to chastise herself. This was only pretend. The Doctor did not return any of the feelings she had for him. She had to remember that. Everything he said and did tonight would be pretend, not real. But who said she had to pretend? If this was the only time it would be acceptable to be affectionate and release everything she'd bottled up, then she would do it. It would only add to the credibility of their story.

She focused on getting ready and dug out a dress she reserved for nights when she wanted to go out to a pub with the intent of receiving attention. It was tight, black, strapless, and short enough to be considered risqué. It was just long enough that was socially acceptable while still maintaining respectability and drawing the eye of every male (and some females) in the room. From the waist up was a tight bodice made of black sequins while the bottom half was lacy and hugged every curve. She made sure to do a smoky eye look, and completed the outfit with a pair of thick black stilettos and the necklace given to her by the Doctor for Christmas. The necklace itself being a small, silver replica of his sonic screwdriver on a silver chain. She looked herself over in the mirror and smiled.

She saw no way that the Doctor could not be drawn to her. This time he surely had to notice how she looked. Just then she heard the TARDIS and took a deep breath. In just a few moments he would step out and she hoped his reaction would be one of awe.

"I don't see why I had to wear a-" The Doctor began fussing over his suit as he stepped out only to look up and see Clara, the rest of his sentence lost. "I…wow." Was all he could muster. The beauty in front of him had fried his brain. Normally he was able to compartmentalize Clara's attractiveness and maintain control of his tongue but this…this was different. There were no other words to describe her apart from alluring, sexy, and way out of his league. His mouth went dry as it hung open, his brain scrambling for a way to recover.

Clara blushed as he continued to ravish her with his eyes. It was exactly what she'd hoped for and her heart soared.

"You like it?" She asked, biting her lip.

The question seemed to finally engage his brain enough for him to recover and clear his throat and respond in humor. "If I didn't know any better I'd say my wife was dressing for the eyes of other men rather than my own."

"Oh don't be jealous hubby." She said with a smile sauntering up to him. Clara began to slowly walk around him, observing his outfit with a hand on his chest. "I wore this just for you." She whispered in his ear. When she walked back over to her mirror she looked up and found his eyes still on her and his face red _. She'd made him blush._ Clara felt a rush go through her and she grinned. Oh she was going to have fun with this. She loved pretending to be all seductive and sexy with him. She wondered where the boldness and confidence to do so had come from and instead decided to just accept it. She'd rather be bold than timid for just this one night.

"I um…I have the rings." He finally said after a moment, sticking his hand into his trouser pocket and pulling out three rings.

She walked back over to him after picking up her small handbag and stuffing it with cash and make up. She observed the rings he held out in the palm of his hand. "They're pretty."

"They were my Mum and Dad's rings." He said bashfully. "The TARDIS reminded me of them in my room."

"Doctor…I…I can't wear your Mum's rings."

"Of course you can." He said not understanding her hesitation.

"I feel like that's insulting her memory by me wearing them in pretend."

He scoffed. "Clara don't be ridiculous. It's not like we're consummating our fake union with these on. It's just for show."

Clara's cheeks burned red at the image the Doctor put in her mind and she had to look away, grateful that she was wearing make-up. "Right. Fine." She went to grab them from his hand but it was smacked out of the air.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Going to put on the rings?" She asked in confusion.

"That's my job. If we're getting married we're doing this right." He reasoned. Clara felt her heart flutter and argued no further. She held out her hand for him and let him slide the engagement ring on first before the wedding band. "With this ring I thee wed." He murmured under his breath. Clara knew she wasn't supposed to hear it and couldn't help the smile that overtook her face as he did so. Her heart was so warm and soaring she thought she'd float up to the clouds.

"My turn." She said quickly grabbing the other ring from him before he could slip it on himself. "With this ring I thee wed." She said sliding it onto his hand. When she glanced up to gauge his reaction she saw him blushing.

"You heard that huh?" Rather than reply she simply winked and squeezed his hand, a twinkle in her eye.

"Already hubby, time to go." Clara announced grabbing her handbag and striding out the door with an extra pep in her step. _Maybe I could get away with kissing him tonight_. She thought devilishly, a grin making its way onto her face.

The Doctor followed quickly after her like a puppy wanting to stay close to its' master. They didn't make it five minutes before he started to complain about why they had to walk to take the tube rather than the TARDIS. Clara simply ignored him and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. When she was met with a questioning glance she responded telling him that married couples hold hands. He of course responded in defense saying he knew because unlike her he'd been married before.

When they arrived at the pub Clara tightened her grip on his hand just a bit more for a moment and inhaled a shaky breath.

"It'll be fine Clara. I won't let you down." He murmured soothingly before they stepped through the door.

As soon as they walked in all eyes were on them and the chattering seemed to stop.

"Well well, and who's this?" Annabelle asked with a mocking grin.

"This is my husband, John, but he likes to be called The Doctor." Clara replied with a fake smile, her eyes glaring haughtily at the woman.

"Yes hello, pleased to meet you." He said extending a hand.

Annabelle snorted but shook his hand. "I'm Annabelle. Are you sure you're Clara's husband and not her dad that she paid to pretend otherwise?"

Clara opened her mouth to bite back but The Doctor beat her too it. "How can you think I'm her Dad when we look exactly the same age?!"

Clara groaned and slapped a hand to her face. "Doctor, for the last time, we do not look the same age."

Annabelle let out a shrill laugh that made Clara want to strangle her. Even the Doctor seemed a little put off by it. "Do you think everyone here is an idiot Clara? You've never talked about or been seen with this man before let alone any man and you expect us to believe you're married when he's clearly almost double your age? I don't know what you're trying to pull but I'll have my answers by the time the night is over."

Clara tried not to let the fact she was shaken show and instead fought back. "Age is only a factor in marriage partners for small minds like yours Annabelle. Contrary to your belief he IS my husband; hence the rings on our fingers and the marriage license in City Hall." She glared at Annabelle before grabbing the Doctor's hand tighter.

"Come on Doctor, let's go get a drink." She pulled him away quickly not wanting to be around the witch one more second.

"Why does she hate you so much?" The Doctor asked curiously.

"I don't know. Some people don't need a reason to be cruel to others."

"There has to be something you did to her."

"She's been that way since the first day I taught Doctor!" Clara exasperated. "Two shots of tequila." Clara snapped at the bar tender.

"I don't want anything actually."

"Never said they were for you." Clara quipped downing the first shot slid to her before quickly following it with the other.

"Easy Clara." The Doctor worriedly said, placing a hand on her arm.

"I'll be fine in a minute. I can't stand that woman." She growled trying to let the tequila loosen her up.

Sure enough Clara managed to loosen up after another two shots and finally began to enjoy the evening as it was in full swing. An hour and a half in the Headmaster took the mic from the stage where the band was playing to make an announcement.

"Ello everyone. I just wanted to say thank you for all the hard work you do for the students and to remind you all that the bar tab is on me tonight so bottoms up! Also right after I'm done we'll cut the cake and karaoke will begin! Thank you again!"

"Ooo Doctor, what do you say about a duet."

"Maybe some other time dear. I'm not the greatest singer." He said bashfully, embarrassed that Clara was going to bring up this conversation in front of her co-workers.

"Non-sense John. That's what Karaoke is all about!" Danny Pink enthused. He was, according to Clara, the new maths teacher, an ex-soldier. Which was of course ludicrous. The boy was obviously a PE teacher and no-one could convince him otherwise.

"Yeah! There are seldom good karaoke singers." Another co-worker, David, joined in.

"Please Doctor." Clara begged tugging on his arm, pleading with her big eyes. She'd been hanging onto him ever since those four shots had taken affect. She was always holding some part of him, be it his hand, arm, shoulder, or waist. Once she'd even tapped his bum. "Please?" She asked again, this time kissing his jaw followed by another open mouthed kiss to his neck.

The Doctor found himself increasingly hot and to the point of moaning as Clara nibbled his ear in front of her co-workers. She was really getting into character trying to sell their marriage.

"Clara." He said, voice huskier than usual, trying to take on a warning tone. "Save that for later Clara. This isn't the place for that."

She stopped and was pouting but at least she'd stopped. Any more and he'd have found himself dragging her to the bathroom and taking her right there.

"I've never seen Clara be so loose before." David appraised, his eyes roaming Clara's body a bit more than the Doctor liked.

"The occasions are certainly far and few between." The Doctor said a bit of malice in his tone towards David.

"I'll be right boys, play nice." Clara said before heading off toward the bar.

"So what's she like?" David asked. "Ya know…in bed?"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out or ask about again." He glared. "Clara is not available for your fantasies and if I find you ogling her like that again I will carve your eyes out." He growled.

"Whoa, easy there John. I'm sure David meant no harm behind his words." Danny input trying to diffuse the atmosphere. "So, how long have you been married?"

"Seems like just today some days, others it feels like years." He replied giving David one last glare successfully making the man retreat.

"How comes Clara never mentioned you before?"

"She um…she…" The Doctor fumbled trying to come up with a plausible excuse. "She wanted to keep me all for herself. Thought if she introduced me then our bubble would burst and she'd have to share me. But you know Clara, she'd rather defend herself than let whatever Annabelle says to her go."

"I don't why that woman has it out for her. But believe me when I say everyone here would not mind if she went. She acts all high and mighty just because the headmaster is her Uncle." Danny informed with a roll of his eyes.

"Hey sexy silver fox, care to dance?" Clara asked sauntering up to The Doctor and interrupting his conversation with Danny.

"Clara, are you okay?" He asked a little worried.

"Never better hubby." She said with a grin and mischievous look in her eye before grabbing his face and planting her lips on his. Her mouth was open and tongue prying open his lips, slipping past just enough for him to taste the alcohol on her tongue before pushing her back.

"Clara! What's gotten into you?" He whisper hissed, holding her by her shoulders.

"Do you find me so unattractive that you can't even pretend for just one night?!" she asked, voice rising and attracting unwanted attention.

"That's not what this is about Clara. You're drunk."

"So what?!" She cried swaying a little in his arms.

"So this isn't you." He said trying to keep his voice low.

"Oh yes it is Doctor. You're so blind you can't even see how much I like you!" She cried, now successfully having everyone's attention. "I thought maybe just maybe this one night when I get to pretend that you're my husband, maybe you'll show me an ounce of attention. I touch you and you try to retract from me. I kiss you and you push me away. Congratulations! Message received! You don't fancy me at all! So you can just go home now and stop the act of being my husband." Clara cried, tears now streaming down her face and ruining her make up. She turned to leave and walked away to the bathroom at the back of the pub.

"Clara!" He shouted trying to get her attention. "Clara!" She instead ignored him and continued to cry until she disappeared from sight around the corner.

"Ha! I knew it! Clara Oswald is a fraud. She's so pathetic she coerced her dad into being her husband." Annabelle cackled.

"ENOUGH!" The Doctor roared bearing down on Annabelle. "I don't know what your problem is, but Clara Oswald is anything but pathetic. She is the most amazing woman I know. She's saved the Earth more times than you would ever know and she's saved me from myself. That woman is ten times the person you are and she has the deepest heart of anyone here for being the smallest one here. She is kind and caring to complete strangers and even people from other worlds. She's strong and brave and why she's so bothered and intimidated by you I haven't the slightest clue when you're the one so threatened by her you feel the need to make her think less of herself and hassle her. You Ms. Annabelle are the one so pathetic that to be happy you need my Clara to feel anything less than desired. But she is. She is worth so much more than she thinks is. She's so much more beautiful and her smile is worth more than anything in this universe. She's my everything and if I ever hear of you giving her trouble again I will personally unleash hell upon you." He said, voice full of rage and anger. He watched as Annabelle began to shrink and try to make herself small in front of him and he continued to tower over her. "And just FYI, now that I know she's interested Clara Oswald will most certainly be officially off the market. Now how about you go propose to your boyfriend who is trying to think of a nice way to break up with you." The Doctor whispered in her ear before going off to the loo to see Clara.

"Clara." He called, knocking on the door.

"Go away." She sobbed.

"Clara, dear, please let me in."

"Why? So you can tell me you think it's best we stop travelling?" She asked brokenly through her tears.

He sighed and instead pulled out the sonic, using it on the lock before letting himself in and re-locking it. It was a one person room and perfect for the private conversation they needed to have. Clara was slumped on the floor against the wall with toilet paper tissues thrown everywhere.

"Oh Clara, my Clara." He said quietly before going to sit beside her. He slid down the wall and lifted up her chin to meet his face. Mascara and eye liner was running down her face, her eyes red and puffy, nose leaking. "Look at me sweetheart." He held her chin in one hand and grabbing a piece of toilet paper he began to wipe her face clean.

She sniffled and looked at him wondering why he was bothering with her.

"You know…you left without giving me a chance to respond."

"Maybe because I don't want to hear your rejection of me." She mumbled.

"That wouldn't have happened Clara."

"It already did." She muttered looking back at the floor.

"Only because I didn't want our first kiss to be because you're drunk."

"What?" She asked looking back up.

"I kept pulling away tonight because I knew if you kept touching me I'd lose control and bring you back here for a shag." He explained, her eyes widening. "I do fancy you Clara Oswald, a lot. I just didn't want our first kiss or first time to be like this. I…I wanted it to be special and romantic. Instead here we are in this dingy, dirty pub and you're drunk off your arse."

"You…you fancy me?" She asked, eyes impossibly wide.

"Of course I do, impossible girl." He said softly, caressing her tear stained cheek.

She giggled and flitted her eyes to his lips. "I've dreamed about kissing you so many times. Your lips are just so…kissable."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Did you do all this just to try and catch my eye?"

She bit her lip and looked down, shaking her head yes. "I…I thought you might finally think I was attractive if I wore something like this."

"You don't need to uncover yourself to make me think you're attractive Clara. I only pretend I don't know just how pain-stakingly beautiful you are in your normal clothes to help me because I thought you didn't fancy me."

"Don't be daft! How could I not fancy you when you look all sexy with your hair like that and in those impossible plaid trousers?"

"Oh so you do like my trousers." He grinned.

"Mmhhmm." She said with a nod of her head. "Makes me think about pulling them off you and seeing the asset you're hiding behind it." She said putting a hand on his groin and rubbing a little.

"Clara…" He warned. "I meant what I said earlier about losing control."

"And what's so bad about losing control?" She asked moving until she was straddling him.

He inhaled sharply and leaned his head back against the wall in an effort to keep control. "Come on Doctor, I know now that you want me." She said in his ear grinding herself against him. He released a moan and cursed his body for betraying him. "Lose control for me." She said again biting his ear and grinding harder against him. She gasped when she felt him against the thin knickers she had on.

"Clara." He moaned as she thrust her hips against his.

"Take me Doctor." She whispered in his ear. "Make me yours."

When his eyes snapped open and his hands went to her waist and tightened she smiled and knew she had him.

When they made it out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, both were grinning in the afterglow and walked hand in hand through the pub. Clara however was still drunk and couldn't leave without saying, "Goodbye everyone, I'm going to go have sex with this man and take him against every surface in my flat." The Doctor's face and ears turned bright red and he rushed them out the door even faster.

Once they were on their way to the tube, still holding hands Clara felt her rings against his hand and said, "Guess we consummated this fake union after all."

XxxxXXxxxENDxxxXXxxxX


End file.
